How to Lose an East Texas Guy in 10 Ways
Written as a special by Leslie Reynolds
My editor asked me “How to Lose an East Texas Guy in 10 Ways”. You know the movie 'How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days' - it stars one of our favorite locals, Matthew McConaughey, and is a romantic comedy that debuted in 2003.
I laughed out loud because I’ve done my share of losing guys from East Texas over the last 25 years or so. East Texas guys, they’re a special kind and they have their definite checklists on things they want in a girl, which I think is why none of my “East Texas Guys” worked out. I called on a few friends who have all dealt with the same struggles I have, and we put together our rendition of “How to Lose an East Texas Guy in 10 Ways”. Ladies reading this, I guarantee you know most, if not all, of what I’m talking about.
Complain about how tall/big their trucks are
For some reason, guys in East Texas feel the need to drive really loud, obnoxious, jacked up trucks that we girls have to jump to get into. And if a girl doesn’t like their truck, you can bet that relationship won't last.
Not be a beer drinker
I’ll be honest, I hate beer. I’m a fruity drink and cider girl to the core. I can hang with the best of 'em, but hand me a Bud Light and I’ll probably pour it out when you aren’t looking.
Not like to go dancing
The big thing around here, for people ages 18-and-up is to go out to a show and go two-step or line dancing. There’s nothing a guy likes more than being able to show off and spin his girl around the dance floor, so if you can’t hang, he’ll find someone who does.
Being a girly-girl
East Texas guys like to hunt, fish, backroad, go mudding, and just go outside and get dirty. But if you’re someone who doesn’t even own a pair of boots or doesn’t like getting your hands dirty, or can't handle the heat, then it probably won’t work.
Be against hunting
The majority of the population of East Texas males left their significant others at home and went out hunting for opening weekend. If you are against your man hunting – hog, deer, duck, or any kind for that matter – it probably won’t work out. BUT if an East Texas man does choose you over opening weekend, you hang onto that one.
Being shy about eating
Let’s be honest, when you to date someone or have been seeing someone for a short amount of time, you don’t want them to see you scarfing down food or eating something messy because it isn’t attractive. But, it is! A man wants a girl who can eat a rack of ribs and not care how messy it is. Or will eat deer meat burgers from his hunting trip last weekend and eat every last bite. If you’re worried about calories or how much you’re eating in front of someone and what they will think, you aren’t someone they probably want around to begin with.
Be a liberal (this one came directly from my sister)
Everyone has their own beliefs an thoughts on politics, the president, gun control, the military, etc. But the majority of men around here have strong feelings about the Republican party, gun control, the military, etc. Most men around here are all for open carry laws. Don’t argue with an East Texas man about his guns, y’all, or you’ll be out the door.
Dislike his Mama
Southern boys and their mama’s are a package deal. If his mama doesn’t like you, then you’re done.
Get around with his friends
Bro’s before hoes? That’s a real thing. East Texas isn’t a very big place when it comes to this. But guys are very proud of themselves and their “bros”. If you disrespect or hurt one of his friends, chances are he’ll pick his bro over you. If a guy knows that you’ve “talked to”, “dated”, “went out with,” etc – numerous guys that run around the same group as him, chances are you won’t get very far.
Not own a pair of boots
I don’t mean Ugg boots, ladies. I mean a real pair of Cowboy boots. Whether it's to go riding, dancing, out on the town, for special occasions, etc. every East Texas girl needs a pair of boots. If you don’t then that’s an automatic red flag that you probably won’t get along with him or his crowd. And since everyone around here owns a pair of boots, you’d be the odd (wo)man out.