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Pickle Juice Soda… Hipsters Are At It Again

Eudaemonius MarkII via Youtube
Eudaemonius MarkII via Youtube

I preface this by saying I am from the Gen X crowd. I am not a millennial. For a generation that is so against “labels”, by the way, they sure do label a lot. I get that there are trends that everyone wants to jump on for five minutes. Even when I was a teenager in the 90’s, it existed. Girbaud jeans, Doc Martens, Mossimo t-shirts. Yes, I did it.

But lately, some of the trends of late have been, how should I put it, ridiculous.

Let’s start with the beard thing. Nothing wrong with having a beard. Done right, they can look very distinguished. But if you are walking around looking like a lumberjack and have no idea how to change a tire, cut that (bleep) off. If you are pairing it with skinny jeans or jeans with fake mud, (face palm).

Then there’s the Unicorn Frappuccino, or frap as I was told it’s called. What is this diabetes inducing (I am a type 1 diabetic so I can make the joke), multicolored, hell that is called a “drink”. I guess your eating kale while drinking it, the equivalent of a Diet Coke with a Double Whopper.

Fake Mud Jeans
Nordstrom

Next are jeans that cost $400 and have fake dirt on them. Who came up with this? Really? I’ve got about $3,000 worth of jeans in my closet, then. And it’s real dirt. From actually getting dirty. Because I go outside and stuff.

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Finally, I ran across pickle flavored soda online. I love pickles. I love finishing off a jar then taking down the juice in one sitting. There is no need to add carbonation, sugar or turmeric? This is added for color? Something tells me this isn’t real pickle juice.

And to make matters worse, this article from the Today Show suggests mixing the soda with whiskey (bangs head against wall). Huge waste of a great drink.

I’m sorry, not sorry, for this rant.

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