Dating can be a terrifying event for many people. How you conduct yourself on the first date says a lot about you and often times many people are too shy and timid to open up in fear of saying the wrong thing. This can also be true of first-time encounters with anyone.

Psychologist Arthur Aron, along with help from others, have found that a couple dating for the first time can get to know each other more intimately through a specific group of questions. The answers to the questions you ask from this list of 36 get deeper the further down the list you go and are designed to foster closeness through your vulnerabilities.

The 36 questions are broken up in to three sets.

Here are the questions from Set 1:

  • 1. Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as a dinner guest?
  • 2. Would you like to be famous? In what way?
  • 3. Before making a telephone call, do you ever rehearse what you are going to say? Why?
  • 4. What would constitute a “perfect” day for you?
  • 5. When did you last sing to yourself? To someone else?
  • 6. If you were able to live to the age of 90 and retain either the mind or body of a 30-year-old for the last 60 years of your life, which would you want?
  • 7. Do you have a secret hunch about how you will die?
  • 8. Name three things you and your partner appear to have in common.
  • 9. For what in your life do you feel most grateful?
  • 10. If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be?
  • 11. Take four minutes and tell your partner your life story in as much detail as possible.
  • 12. If you could wake up tomorrow having gained any one quality or ability, what would it be?

The New York Times has the other two sets of questions that can lead to love and hopefully find you the right person for marriage or a meaningful friendship or relationship.