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Red Light Runners and the Need for Harder Time for Offenders

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I’m sick and tired of red light runners. Drivers now view red lights as suggestions rather than a rule.

I’m old enough to remember when people actually stopped at red lights. Now, people plow through them like line cutters in a junior high lunchroom.

When the cops catch them, it’s a ticket. But, I believe we need a harsher punishment.

Meetings.

If you work for a living, go to church or are a member of an organization, you know that there’s nothing more painful than a meeting. And if there is anything more painful than a meeting (excluding of course Dancing With The Stars), I’ve yet to endure it.

I firmly believe that if you’re a really bad person while you’re on earth, hell is one long meeting. And the guy running that meeting will be Dr. Phil.

I know my punishment recommendation sounds harsh, but before you pass judgment on me as a being a terrible person, let me explain. I think the meeting should fit the crime.

For example, those who just slow down (or don’t slow down) before making a right turn on red? They should be forced to attend a meeting at the local garden club during the “Taking Cuttings From My Dahlia Tubers” presentation by Edna Fernbuckle.

The folks who run the red light by following the four other people in front of them who also ran the red light would receive the much harsher sentence of an Amway meeting. After the meeting, the sentence would also require them to continue drawing circles, and keep asking their friends if they’d like to make an extra $3-$5 thousand a month until they are pummeled.

Shockingly, there are people who are worse than the two types I just cited.

Of course, I’m referring to those who don’t go after the light turns green because they’re texting or playing Words with Friends. After you honk at them three times, these people then run the light after its turned red, leaving you to wait for the next green light.

These drivers deserve the worst type of meeting: A Funeral.

I don’t mean his or her own funeral, I mean a random stranger’s funeral. One that’s picked from the obits based on how little the offender had in common with the deceased.

You may argue that funerals are nt meetings. They are. By my family’s definition, a funeral is a required meeting. I have to go to funerals even if it’s the third wife of a cousin of a neighbor I don’t even remember.

Funerals are the worst because they include everything you despise in a meeting; a dead person and several others that you wish were.

My point is that I believe it is possible to rehabilitate selfish, moron drivers before they reoffend. But, if they do reoffend, we can get really serious and have the cable company change all of their channels to Nancy Grace.

About John Moore

John Moore is the host of the KNUE Gold Rush Show on Saturdays from 8 to 10 a.m. He has worked in the radio business for 34 years. 

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