The Ten Worst Things to do Because of the “Mayan Apocalypse”
Just like Y2K, it looks like the Mayan Apocalypse was just another dooms day prediction come and gone with no end of times. For some though, this was a serious scare. They may have started to prepare for it. Maybe you did too. But, what are the ten worst things to have done to get ready for this apocalypse that you will regret tomorrow?
There is a large grey structure located near the square in downtown Tyler. It rests next door to the Goodman LeGrand Museum, behind the church on the corner of North Broadway and West Bow street. This huge cylindrical concrete giant once held some of the city’s water supply. Interesting enough, it is the oldest structure of its kind in the United States. But, the story of what happened when Tyler residents began to panic is far more interesting.
During the cold war, the United States became very scared of nuclear bombs being dropped down on us. People went into chaotic rushes to prepare bomb shelters. Packing up supplies and weapons, people filled any space they believed would keep them safe if worst came to worst. One of these shelters was located in the bottom of the gigantic, grey water tower. The storage area below where the water was held was filled with canned food, blankets, radios, and plenty of other supplies. A few years ago, a crack in the lower concrete support for the tank caused a flood of the bomb shelter. Debris of all sorts flooded the lawn of the Goodman LeGrand Museum park, showing the waste of time and supplies this Cold War preparation was.
It is a funny thought now to look back at all of the mayhem caused from a fright that never came to reality. For some, there has been no time to relax. Cold War to Y2K to now, the frenzy of the Mayan Apocalypse brought up some of those old feelings of terror. This led people to start getting ready for the end.
In these preparations, what might they be regretting? Since the sun did rise this morning and will again tomorrow, there have to be a group of folks out there screaming their best Homer Simpson “DOH!” Here are ten things I bet someone is wishing they could take back.
1. Building up thousands of dollars in credit card debit.
If you believed the world would end, you might want to live the rest of your days out living the “good life.” Buying all of your wish-list luxuries with a credit card that you think you will never have to pay back almost sounds like a perfect idea. When that interest keeps piling up from today through tomorrow, the decision won’t sound so perfect anymore.
2. Selling everything you own to go live out your last days on a beach.
If you had always dreamed of living on the beach, sleeping in a hammock, and drinking margaritas; selling all of your worldly possessions to pay for that dream would have been an awful choice. When your money runs out and the hotel kicks you out, where will you go? I guess you could sell sea shells down by the sea shore.
3. Skydiving for the first time.
If the only thing that had ever held you back from jumping out of a perfectly good plane was the fear of dying, why not put on that parachute if the world was going to end anyway. But, what if that parachute fails and the ground come too fast? The end did not come and now you might be looking towards years of therapy or a wheelchair.
4. Moving your family underground to try and protect them and yourself.
Sure, not having windows or clean air is not a priority if it will save their lives. That sunlight and fresh air will be the thing that keeps you all from going crazy when life continues on like it always had. Your teenagers might become a little more testing when there is no more cable or internet. Your wife might get pretty frustrated trying to make a meal out of canned food. And, you might get tired of the stares when the neighbors watch you mow your roof.
5. Telling everyone what you really think about them.
We all tell little white lies and hold back what we are really thinking sometimes. To keep a happy relationship with others you cannot always be very blunt. The last day that you will ever see them, you might finally concede to telling them what you have really thought of them this whole time. The next day at work, home, or trying to hangout with friends might be the most awkward time in your life. The red faces squinting their eyes in hatred of your foul words and insults might leave you very lonely.
6. Quitting your job.
Even if you love your job, you don’t always want to go to work. Day after day it can get a little boring, especially when the sun is shining and the park looks so inviting. If you never had to worry about scorn from your boss again, you might decide to call it quits. Explaining the mistake you made might get a little sticky.
7. Eating endless amounts of your favorite food, even though it is bad for you.
If you are a lover of sweets and have diabetes, dooms day might seem like your last chance to eat your weight in cakes and cookies. For the BBQ lover, you might load up the family and head out to your favorite rib joint, high blood pressure and heart attack completely forgotten about. No matter your favorite treat, eating too much of it when the world does not actually end might lead to a trip to the doctor or an expensive trainer at the gym.
8. Having a night of debauchery and craziness.
Spending every last cent that you have saved on a night out on the town thinking that tomorrow will never come bringing its horrible hangover it not to be advised. Gambling, drinking, drugs, “relations,” tattoos, buying an expensive car to play bumper cars, stealing, tickling a police officer, stealing Mike Tyson’s tiger, hiring your favorite band to play a private show, playing hide and go seek in a car dealership that houses guard dogs, skinny dipping in a public fountain, shooting off fireworks inside, and plenty of other insanity could sound fun. In the morning you will regret it.
9. Telling every secret you have ever kept.
Whether they are your secrets or someone else’s, spilling the beans on all the dirt might not end as well if the apocalypse doesn’t come. There will probably be a lot of hurt, angry, disappointed, and/ or shocked folks. You could reveal the biggest embarrassement you have hidden only to live with the laughter for the rest of your days.
10. Deciding not to go see JB and the Moonshine Band + the Cody Johnson Band play.
Thats right, spending the last night promised to us not dancing and cheering with JB and the Moonshine Band will be one of the biggest regrets you make when this Mayan Apocalypse silliness disappears. So, come out tonight to the Electric Cowboy in Tyler. Tickets are still available but selling fast, so hurry and get one. There is also a meet and great next door at Fat Catz restaurant to really celebrate making through this eventless dooms day.