This Week in Texas + Red Dirt Tweets

Each week my good friend Rita Ballou takes the time to collect the wittiest, most topical and random tweets from the Texas scene. Then after she gathers them, I steal ‘em. So please reward my laziness by checking out This Week in Texas + Red Dirt Tweets.

@hayescarll: Just got my tooth knocked out by a softball. It wasn’t soft.

@NotKennyRogers: Every time an American celebrity names their child after a fruit, a 4th grader in China learns Calculus.

@joshabbottband: It bothers me that there isn’t a deer emoticon #hunteriphoneproblems

@rrbchoir: Just shook a man’s hand at the airport that survived Iwo Jima. Puts all things in perspective. God bless this great country.

@BillyBobsTexas: @WadeBowen called in a favor and brought a very special guest to his show tonight.

@NotBurtReynolds: If you’re really living, you don’t have time to make a “bucket list”. I just had sex in the middle of a bowling alley on league night.

@ryanbeaver: Is this really necessary America? Enchilada Supreme??

@GrangerSmith: Here’s our typical early Sunday morning.

@NotJakeOwen: Hey Jason, she may be country but she ain’t your wife.

@BleuEdmondson: Saw a girl in Wal Mart wearing one of my shirts. I passed her and said nice shirt. She looked at me like a perv. #musthavebeenagift

@gettinsweenered: Sometimes I wonder how men can compartmentalize. I prefer to departmentstorealize. Works for me.