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An Open Letter to the Lady Handing Out ‘Fat’ Letters on Halloween


To the woman in North Dakota who’s planning on giving a letter to obese kids tonight instead of candy:

Lady, I’m not sure who put you in charge of being judgmental, hateful and rude, but I’d like to take a moment to congratulate you.

It takes a lot of emptiness to purposely crush the feelings of a child. Most of us still remember hurtful things that people did or said to us during our formative years. And thinking of them now still hurts.

Trick-or-treating is the one time of year when kids can pretend to be something special and be rewarded for just being a child. Your self-assigned mission to divert their attention to something you perceive as a flaw, and somehow as being your business, shows that you have accomplished something that most folks never do:

Being completely self-absorbed.

I’ve met a number of people who were self-absorbed, but at least every now and then they would show that others mattered to them. But not you. No, you only care about you and what you think is important to you.

You represent what has changed this great country from being filled with folks who work at cheering the good qualities people have to a growing group of people who can’t mind their own damn business.

Yes, I congratulate you. You are obviously perfect and without flaw, which gives you the right to tell others what’s wrong with them.

I hope that you never get sick and need a treatment that causes you to gain weight. That would make you obese. It just might be that by that point, folks like you will have pushed obesity into the category of being a pre-existing condition.

If so, you also may get a letter.

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