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Here Are 10 Rules Every Damn Yankee Should Remember Before Visiting Texas

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You won’t find people more prideful than Texans.

We love our state. We love it when folks visit Texas (most of the time). But there are some things you should keep in mind when paying a visit to the Lone Star State.

We put together a little list of 10 rules everyone should abide by if they are visiting or are moving to Texas. This is especially true or those of you north of the Mason-Dixon Line Red River.

Keep these rules close to your heart and you’ll be just fine. Welcome to Texas.

1. We’re friendly. You should be, too.

Not only are Texans proud to be from Texas, but we’re also proud to be the poster children for Southern Hospitality. We’ll give you a nod if we make eye contact walking down the sidewalk. We’ll wave if we pass each other on the road. And we get offended if you don’t return the gesture.

2. We’re not all hillbillies. Don’t assume we are.

Yes, we’re from Texas. Yes, we talk funny (to you). That doesn’t mean we all own ranches, or are all uneducated hillbillies. Yes, many of us own Cowboy boots, wear Stetsons and hold a beer in one hand and a dip cup in the other … but don’t assume the wrong thing.

3. Our barbecue is the best. Period.

You can go on and on about Kansas City, South Carolina or Memphis barbecue. It’s cute, really. But Texas sets the standard. And while we love our pork ribs, beef is the king. Respect our brisket.

4. Don’t try to go drink for drink with us.

If there’s one thing Texans know how to do, it’s how to drink. Taking out a case of beer while floating a few hours on the Comal River and taking that late into the night with more beer and whiskey isn’t unusual. So, don’t question our drinking skills. That will only need to a duel.

5. Football is big. Like, really big.

High school, college, NFL. We love it all. Our towns go dark on Friday nights while the lights at the high school football stadium (many of which cost millions) are big and bright. College-wise, don’t get in the middle of a Texas-Texas A&M argument. And there’s a reason the Dallas Cowboys are America’s Team. Go to a game and you’ll see why.

6. George Strait is King. Yes, with a capital K.

This isn’t up for discussion. King George has more No. 1 hits than any artist or band in any genre, ever. His final concert of ‘The Cowboy Rides Away’ tour at AT&T Stadium saw 105,000 people in attendance. If you’ve got something bad to say about George … Bye, Felicia.

7. Don’t make fun of the way we talk.

We’re from Texas. This is how we talk. And don’t try to replicate it. You can’t.

8. We like to go fast.

There’s an 85 mph speed limit in West Texas for a reason. And for the love of George Strait, the left lane is for passin’ only.

9. Whataburger. Amen.

Don’t bring that Five Guys or In N’ Out mess to this conversation. They’re good, but they’re no Whataburger.

10. Yes, it’s hot. You’re in Texas.

Don’t like it? Bless your heart.

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