I'm just going to say it: Women are smarter than men.

Yes, the fairer sex are not only better looking, they're mentally superior.

I can back this up.

Only a woman has the mental capacity to store every screw-up a man has ever made and then pull it out of her memory banks at just the right time during an unrelated argument.

Sample conversation:

Woman: "So, you came home drunk again at 3 a.m. with your buddies. You said you'd be home by 10."

Man: "We lost track of time. I'm sorry, honey."

Woman: "You mean like on March 18, 1977 at 3:14 p.m., when you forgot to pick up the candles for my mom's birthday cake?"

Man: "Huh?"

(Woman hits man with skillet)

Women have an extra gene that allows them to permanently store only information that pertains to mistakes men make. However, this gene does not allow them to remember information men pass along to them.

Sample conversation:

Man: "Honey, I'm headed to the golf course to meet the guys."

Wife: "What? You promised to help me plant marigolds and go shopping for a mumu for mom's birthday."

Man: "No, I didn't. I told you on Tuesday that we were playing."

Woman: "No, you didn't."

(Man hits self with skillet)

Women also relish trading husband screw-ups with each other.

Woman #1: "So, Steve came home drunk at 3 a.m."

Woman #2: "Did you remind him about forgetting your mom's birthday candles back in '77?"

Woman #1: "Of course!"

Woman #2: "Men are so stupid."

So, here's what I propose guys. Mumble. That'll make it harder for her to use your words against you.

And replace all of the skillets in the kitchen with the non-stick variety.