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Stupid Criminal Stories — It Doesn’t Get Any Better Than These

Jail Cell
demosphere, Flickr

I love it when I come across a story about a stupid criminal who thinks he is so smart! It seems a lot of so-called “criminal masterminds”  think they can get away with anything. Some even want to be caught! Yes folks, it’s time for “stupid true criminal stories.”

May I See Your ID, Please?

Police in Cleveland Heights, Ohio, are looking for Rodney Peterson, who supposedly robbed a gas station this past Saturday night armed with a broken bottle. How do they know the alleged robber’s name? You guessed it — he thoughtfully left his ID on the counter before he got the heck out of dodge!

I guess I can understand one would tend to get a little nervous and flustered while committing a crime. But to leave your I.D. behind, that’s just stupid.

If you thought that guy was a loser, you’ll love this next story!

You’ve Got That Backwards

Jails are usually designed to stop people from breaking out, without concern for people breaking into jail. Or that’s what you would normally think! But Tiffany Hurd was actually asking to go to jail. The woman climbed over a barbed-wire fence to try and enter the Butler County Jail in Cincinnati. Prison employees asked her to leave, but she refused, asking to be arrested. Well, she got her wish when she was put in jail for criminal trespassing and disorderly conduct. Yep, she was drunk!

See kids, dreams really do come true!

Keep Me Locked Up!

Oh, but now we have a guy who didn’t want to leave jail.  Rodney Dwayne Valentine was in the slammer  for a couple of months in  Rockingham County, N.C. He was released this past Saturday morning, but didn’t feel like walking to a nearby motel. The sheriff’s deputies refused to drive him. So, when he failed to leave his home away from home, officials decided to charge him with trespassing, and he’s now being held on a $500 bond. WOW!

Only In Kentucky

Two Kentucky men tried to pull the front off a cash machine at a local bank, by running a chain from the machine to the bumper of their pickup truck. Instead of pulling the front panel off the machine, though, they pulled the bumper off the truck. They panicked and fled, leaving the chain still attached to the machine, their bumper still attached to the chain — and, of course, their license plate still attached to the bumper.

Texas Proud

I promise this next story is true — and stupid!

A guy from Texas was convicted of robbery. He worked out a deal to pay $9,600 in damages instead of serving a two-year sentence in jail. For payment, he gave the court a forged check. He got his prison term back, plus eight more years.

Seriously?!

I think this next story takes the cake.

A man walked into a police station and asked to take a breathalyzer test. When asked why, he said he wanted to prove to his wife that he wasn’t drunk. Of course, the police officer asked the man if he had driven to the station and the guy said yes. The police man gave the man the test and yes, he failed it.  He was charged for driving under the influence, spent the night in jail, received a huge fine and his driver’s license was suspended for one year.

Brilliant, I tell ya’!

[MSN + DumbCriminals.com]

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