Texans! You must step up your pizza game.

Zippia did one of those surveys on what states love pizza the most and what type of pizza they order most. The results for Texas are disappointing.

Texas ranks number 45 when it comes to the states that love pizza the most. I know we love our tacos and our barbeque, but Texas should find a little more love in your heart for the pie.

Next up is each state's favorite pizza. Texas comes in with "cheese" as the top answer. That's not pizza. That's cheese bread and I don't care what anyone else says. How are you going to disappoint me like this, Lone Star State? And how the heck are you even going to order a pizza without some protein on it? This is disturbing, and I want those responsible held accountable.

All this brings me to a problem I tried to solve long ago. When I operated the Freaky Tiki, I wanted to create the kind of pizza I would order, and thus I created, "The Texas Pig Hater." Oh yes, this was an overload of salty, porky goodness.

The toppings were pepperoni, Italian sausage, Canadian bacon, and salami. Now THAT'S a pizza. I still think this an idea who's time has come and you should all get behind me on this.

I guess we could make barbeque pizzas and taco pizzas, but those don't really scream 'pizza' to me.

I'm also wondering what the average size of an ordered pizza is. I'll bet we at least win that contest. By the way, did you know you always get more bang for your buck when you order the largest pizza possible? It's true. For you non-mathletes, a 16-inch pizza is not twice as big as an eight-inch, but four times as big.

So get it together, Texas. Order an extra large and get some meat on it. Make me proud!


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