Don’t Like Your Life? Make Your World ‘Bigger’
So, let's talk about those moments when you find yourself sitting in your house. There's no one around, and maybe you're even laying despondently on your bed. You feel bored, listless, restless--life seems pointless. You're struggling with swirling thoughts, some of which seem to be relentlessly pounding on the door of your psyche. You're not good enough. What are you doing with your life? You've made a mess of things. No one actually likes you.
Ah yes, that lovely internal negative dialogue. Now, if you're one of the lucky few who are gifted with a self-image perception of 100%, congratulations. However most people struggle with the internal negative self-talk at least at some point in their lives, if not cyclically throughout. This post isn't about how to address the negative self-talk with positive affirmations or meditation. Although that would be a good subject into which to delve more thoroughly.
I propose this: Sometimes, I think we get caught in whirlwind of negative self-talk because our life-scope has become too narrow. In other words, maybe your world has become too small and focused on the skewed perceptions you may have about your life. Maybe it's too focused on you. (Or me, or him, or her, or them...)
I'm very much an advocate for self-care. In many cases, people don't spend enough time caring for themselves. However, I think we can confuse self-care with overindulging ourselves. This could apply to food, intoxicants, or any other potential "addictable." The same applies to overindulging the negative self-talk. Sometimes this happens because we've spent too much time thinking about ourselves and/or the false narratives we've been telling ourselves in our minds. The conversation has shallowed and become acidic and closed-circuited. Our tendency to criticize ourselves has been given full reign in our mind because we're not filling it with anything else--about someone or something else. Someone we love. Something we're passionate about.
Short and sweet. Next time you find yourself in this place, try this: Ask yourself the last time you widened your life-scope a bit. How do you do that? Learn something new, even if you suck at it at first. Make a new friend. How? Be one. Feel a bit sad over how your life is going right now? Stop and, with intent, think about what you're grateful for--say it out loud or write it down. Spend some time volunteering for an organization who cares for those who are deeply suffering.
What else could you do? Think about it. Make your world bigger and fill it with new friends or reach out to an old one. Think different thoughts on purpose and engage in more adventures. Share more love. More LIFE.
It works. <3